Pool Hopping Article

Pool Hopping By Scott Bolohan Jul 17, 2007, 12:35

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Hot Water:
Pool Hopping

Trying to drum up interest to sneak into an Econo Lodge pool is not too easy, even after explaining to potential accomplices that we probably wouldn’t get arrested. But nonetheless, despite pool hopping being the height of bored suburbia, I couldn’t find a single person up for the adventure. (FYI: When you break up with your girlfriend the night before, apparently you break up with your pool hopping plans, too.)

I arrived — alone — at the Econo Lodge in Madison Heights and saw the workers locking up the pool. This threw me a little bit and I wasn’t sure of my next move, but then I thought, what would Mitch Albom do? So I drove across the street and looked at a couple other hotels for a pool. After a couple of misses, the Residence Inn Marriott had one, and it even had a hot tub, too. I casually walked into the empty pool area and went into the water, leaving my shirt and shoes in the car in case I needed a quick getaway.

I couldn’t have felt more welcomed. The water in the pool was much warmer than I had anticipated. I swam around for about 20 minutes and didn’t see a single person. It was quite relaxing. I quickly came to realize how little there was to do in a five foot pool alone, so I went into the hot tub. It was even better than the pool. I was in there for about five minutes before another man, probably in his late fifties, came and hopped in with me. There are very few things in life more awkward than two guys sharing a hot tub. I was caught in a bind: I didn’t want to leave this paradise, but this guy was really ruining it for me. I stayed for the obligatory few minutes to make it look like I wasn’t leaving because he had gotten in, and then I went to the car.

On the road, I got a call from two buddies asking me to go to Taco Bell. Although I’m fully aware you aren’t supposed to swim for at least a half hour after eating, I took them up on the offer, thinking I could convince them to come with me after detailing the luxury that was the Residence Inn. Using my journalist mind tricks, I persuaded them to go with me to the Somerset Apartments pool in Troy. I felt much more nervous about this one. I figured my chances for arrest went up to about 10 percent, so I wore my shoes in the pool in case I had to run. We had to hop a fence to get into this watering hole, and it was much colder than the Residence Inn. We were all pretty anxious; every light that flickered, car door that slammed or person we saw walk by, we got really quiet. My friends decided the plan should be that if the police came, I should try to run away and they would stay underwater. I was sincerely wishing this would happen.

After about 10 minutes, we were getting pretty cold, so we got out of the water. I was hopping over the fence to leave the pool area and as I landed, I found myself face to face with a security guard. I really had no options but to turn myself in as my friends sprinted off in the other direction. “You guys aren’t supposed to be in here,” the guard said. “If you get hurt, I get in trouble.” I was getting off with a warning. My friends were long gone by this time. I called them up and told them I was fine, and we all laughed at how much fun pool hopping was and we made plans to party at the Residence Inn the next night. | RDW

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Pool Hopping Tips

• Don’t bring dumb friends. My buddy jumped into the water with his phone and left his shirt at the pool. Plus, he cut himself hopping the fence on the way in, making it certain David Caruso could track him down.
• Wear running shoes. I tried my old Steve Francis Reebok basketball shoes. Not a good idea. It felt and sounded like I was walking through a river with every step.
• Never devise a plan that involves you hiding underwater. Unless you are Houdini.
• One guy per hot tub — no exceptions. Run if he asks to turn on the jets.